The 19th Century is closed for business…

The page turns! Emma Morano died. She is the last person born in the 19th century. 117 years old.

Now it’s just us.

It’s astonishing what humanity has accomplished in 117 years. Hopefully when the last of the 20th century born passes, our legacy includes peace, tolerance, growth, kindness and love. (And if it doesn’t, the robots will figure it out).

Oswald goes the distance…

As a dog owner nothing is more harrowing than the very rare occasion when Oswald hits a triple. I always bring two. Never three baggies. I rationalize it as if he’s never shown such fortitude before…

With that said, ‘Wald just hit a walk off triple in the bottom of the 9th. Thankfully, because it was so late in the game, I was able to quickly head home, backtrack, find and remedy the situation.

The other terrible option was to open bag 1 or bag 2 – unknot the blue bag and try to lip it over with full knowledge of the nightmare scenario. I ask myself WWSIND? Sir Isaac Newton wouldn’t risk it. He’d head home and grab a 3rd.

There is one thing that I do know for sure. Oswald will never hit for the cycle. Ever…

Urkel is a man.

Urkel.

Just ate next to him at Gjusta in Venice. We traded a glance, and he knew that I knew that he was definitively Urkel. I will tell you Urkel has blossomed into a strong, even beefy looking, manly-man with quintessential Urkel head.

Urkel didn’t pull a Jennifer Grey on us, chipping away at her distinct features until she achieved anonymity. Urkel owns his Urkality.

I love Urkel even more now. I only wish I had not inadvertently mouthed “Urkel” during our brief glance.

Jeremy Padawer

1 minute non-partisan Syria summary…

1 minute, non-partisan Syria summary…

Clinton and Trump both supported strikes on Syrian airfields in response to chemical weapons used against Syrian civilians including children.

Most of NATO agrees with US. China condemns both US and Syria. Russia is pissed and suspends a very specific agreement preventing future US / Russia mid air collisions over Syrian land. Iran pissed at US.

Defenders of Assad / Syria say it would be literally insane for Assad to launch this attack against his own people when he’s getting almost everything he wants from both Russia and the US. This is Assad’s defense. The suggestion is that the chemical attack against Syria’s own civilians would have come from someone looking to destabilize Assad.

Syrian attack civilian survivors describe chemical bombs dropped from airplanes.